I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
there is glitter all over my balls
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