I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just cut my nipple shaving
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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