her vagine was all disorganized.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
