saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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