I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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