I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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