I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
