I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
