I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I need to calm my uterus...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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