I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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