I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize
