So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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