There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I could fuck to npr.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize