so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
