Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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