Swine flu is the new snow day.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
