All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
