i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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