dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
