Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
so let's talk penis.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
