I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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