i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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