I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he fucked my hip out of place.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
