Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize