I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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