If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
