Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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