Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
