I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
