3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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