that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
