Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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