They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
