I wannas sexs uuuuu
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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