O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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