im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
