Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
