We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize