my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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