We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize