Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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