Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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