420 ftw
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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