he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
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i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
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I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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