you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
