Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
