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• (214): View more from Texas

  Big sunglasses are the new paper bag

  (817): View more from Texas

  ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  fireball beer pong. youre missing out

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  how is that even possible?

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  ove gloves.

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  be there in ten.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?

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• (903): View more from Texas

  He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  sounds about right

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• (718): View more from New York

  I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?

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• (716): View more from New York

  how do you feel about japanese?

  (1-716): View more from New York

  I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.

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• (858): View more from California

  I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...

  (480): View more from Arizona

  IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY

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• (786): View more from Florida

  I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience

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