'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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