you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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