There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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