Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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