Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
