You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
