The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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