Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just invented taco cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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