I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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